Let me tell you about this dream I had

I often dream in stories. That should not come as a surprise to anyone, but most of the time I can barely remember so much as an outline. It had something to do with water … and melting vinyl records … and I … no, sorry, forgot the rest.

The dream I had last Thursday night was different. In it, I was a private eye, a hard-nosed film noir detective. The type that only puts the whiskey bottle down to light his next cigar. And calls girls dames.

Yeah, I know.

Anyway, I got called out to investigate a murder in a seaside town. Someone had found the lifeless body of the blacksmith by the side of the road, near the cliffs. I spent most of the night investigating, and discovered many fascinating and surprising sub-plots. None of which I can remember. Using the facts that I had painstakingly gathered, and my famed powers of deduction, I came to the startling conclusion that the blacksmith had feigned his own murder.

I moved to arrest him, but the masked scoundrel fled to the local castle. The villagers feared for their lives. Don’t ask why, I can’t remember. I chased him through corridors and banquet halls, dungeons and courtyards, and over the battlements. By now he was wearing a mask, and he carried a weapon. The game got dicey. A few times he nearly got me, the bullets ricocheting off the ancient stonework. I got him though, and tore off his mask to find, as I had expected, the blacksmith underneath.

Then the scene shifts and I’m sitting at a camp fire with some of the villagers. Coals and wood from the blacksmith’s shed fuel the fire. We talk, share secrets and tell tales. I notice something shiny in among the leaping flames. I reach in (apparently I’m fire-resistant in this dream) and my hand comes away covered in gold dust. I open the palm of my hand and in among the soot lie two solid golden nuggets. One of the villagers whispers in my ear:

‘Wow. Do you have any idea how valuable that is?’

I smile and wake up.

 

I’m not really looking for help to interpret the dream, because a) that’s something I have to do for myself, and b) I’ve got a pretty good idea of what it means to me. I just wanted to share, because I am amazed at how often our subconscious talks to us through our dreams and by the metaphors it uses.

I don’t want you to be my friend no more, black dog.

I’ve tried to write this post three different ways and deleted it each time, so I think I’ll stop trying to be witty, tough or philosophical, and just put down what I want to say.

Last week I had an experience that scared me down to my bones. I don’t want to go into what happened exactly, if that’s okay with you. Suffice to say it was a large sign telling me I was getting close to the edge of the map. Here-be-dragons close.

Now, I know things have not been well for a while. I’ve gained 15kg, done hardly any writing, caught six colds since the start of the year, amongst other things and have generally been exhausted. However, I thought, I could put things right by myself.

I can’t.

Today I talked to my doctor and she diagnosed me with mild depression/burn-out. Because of what I’ve seen the black dog do to others, I went and made the appointment before it got really out of hand. I’m glad I did. It is a big relief to get the confirmation that all is indeed not well.

So, if I’ve been slow to respond (or have not responded at all – sorry…) that’s why.

Now on  to chain that pesky dog.

Book review – The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins

The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins (2008)

Verdict: 3 ludwigs

In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capitol surrounded by twelve outlying districts. The Capitol is harsh and cruel and keeps the districts in line by forcing them all to send one boy and one girl between the ages of twelve and eighteen to participate in the annual Hunger Games, a fight to the death on live TV.

Why should you read it?

What a pageturner! This book should come with a warning label, that you might neglect your children because you just want to read the next chapter. It’s the paper version of a thrilling ride in an amusement park.

Why should you not read it?

Because, just like most rides in an amusement park, it is not a good idea to slow down and look at the skeleton that fell from the ceiling. Then the cracks appear. Katniss has a disturbing lack of empathy, Peeta of personality. And Panem has a disturbing lack of depth or logic. Haymitch might be the only really interesting character. But if you keep your eyes half-closed and don’t stop, then it’s really enjoyable.

In short: Fun. But not the best kids-get-killed-for-TV going around. That goes to Battle Royale and The Long Walk.

X-posted: http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/302410715

Book review – The Name of the Wind – Patrick Rothfuss

The Name of the Wind – Patrick Rothfuss (2009)

Verdict: 3 ludwigs

Crushed under the weight of expectation. The legendary Kvothe tells his life’s story. Unfortunately it doesn’t hit me as hard as I had hoped it would. Glowing reviews made me expect too much, I guess.

Why should you read it?

Because if I hadn’t read the reviews, I would say this story is Quality. With a capital Q. Kvothe is a great character and Rothfuss’ world has got great depth.

Why should you not read it?

It is very much fantasy. So if it isn’t your genre, stay away. It also sadly touches a lot of your typical fantasy-tropes, which is disappointing when the story is said to be ground-breaking. There’s also too much of the ‘determined jaw’ and ‘intelligent eyes’ for my liking. And eye colour changing according to mood is so 1973.

As an aside: for a large part of the book, I was convinced Kvothe was gay. And really enjoying that take on a hero. Then he meets a girl and falls in cringe-worthy love with her. Disappointing.

X-posted: http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/276851989

Book review: Twelve – Jasper Kent

Twelve – Jasper Kent (2009)

Verdict: 3 ludwigs

A thrilling vampire story set against the back drop of Napoleon’s disastrous campaign into Russia. Kent’s vampires are the conventional killing machines we know and love. They do not sparkle. I enjoyed it and read it quickly.

Why should you read it?

Because it’s good when vampires deserve to get a stake through the heart. Also Kent makes some poignant remarks on the horrors of war and the crimes of man. He is no Adam Zamoyski but it does urge you to think.

Why should you not read it?

I like it when I come across a sentence in a book that makes me gasp at its brilliance (beauty, brevity, clarity, etc.). Unfortunately that did not happen very often. The story drags you in, not the writing. It is also quite conventional a lot  of the time. And there’s one gaping plot-hole that still irks me.

Books I’ve read lately

My not so very humble thoughts on the following works of writing (click on the link to read the review or just scroll down and read ALL of them):

Dance with Dragons – George R.R, Martin

Genghis: Birth of an Empire – Conn Iggulden

Een Vrouw voor elk Seizoen – Walter van den Broeck

The War of the Flowers – Tad Williams

Is this the Real Life: The Untold Story of Queen – Mark Blake

A History of Ancient Britain – Neil Oliver

Before They Are Hanged- Joe Abercrombie

The Ancient Guide to Modern Life – Natalie Haynes

Dance with Dragons – George R.R. Martin (2011)

Verdict: 0,5 ludwigs

Remember those thrilling times you had in Westeros at the beginning of the series? The disappointment that Dance brought me, soured those memories and turned them bittersweet. Dance and the earlier Feast for Crows together would make one good book. Apart, not so much.

Why should you read it?

Because it’ s Book 5 in A Song of Ice and Fire. A series that started off with 3 thrilling, brilliant installments and one excusable mis-fire.

Why should you not read it?

It is slow, Dull with Dragons, and worse it has many main-players acting completely out of character. No earlier cliff-hanger gets resolved satisfactorily and yet more pop up in annoying numbers. Martin called it a bitch to write and it shows.

.

.

.

Genghis: Birth of an Empire – Conn Iggulden

Verdict: 3 ludwigs

Quick paced historical novel based on the early years of Temujin, who will later grow up to become Genghis Khan. Very much in a similar style to Barnard Cornwell. Good read.

Why should you read it?

Genghis must be the ultimate self-made man. Not much is known of his youth, but what we do know is harrowing. Iggulden writes an exciting story build on the hardships he had to endure before he rose to power and how he accomplished that. Fascinating stuff.

Why should you not read it?

Temujin wasn’t a really pleasant person, who lived in not so pleasant times, so a strong stomach is advised. Also, this book is only the first in a series. Only start it if you want to buy the lot.

.

.

.

Een Vrouw voor elk Seizoen – Walter van den Broeck (2011)

Verdict: 3 ludwigs

Seven short stories celebrating women and love. My enjoyment ebbed and flowed, but Van den Broeck always kept me interested. I finished in a single day.

Why should you read it?

Van den Broeck has a brilliant ear for dialogue. Language is one of things that define who we are, and Van den Broeck uses it masterfully to flesh out his characters.

Why should you not read it?

Not all short stories are world-beaters (the first one was a disappointment). And sometimes, constrained by the brevity of his story Van den Broeck telling too much and showing too little.

.

.

.

The War of the Flowers – Tad Williams (2003)

Verdict: 4 ludwigs

Highly enjoyable Fairytale with a nice twist on the world of Faerie. Will definitely read more of Tad Williams in the future. My kind of fantasy.

Why should you read it?

Because it has an elaborate, original take on the world of Faerie. Not only that, but there are some kick-ass characters walking around in it. They draw you in and keep you entertained.

Why should you not read it?

Well, it is fantasy. If you rather spend your hours with text books on car maintenance, this might not be for you. Also, Williams occasionally telegraphs his intentions too clearly, taking some of the surprise away.

.

.

.

Is this the Real Life: The Untold Story of Queen – Mark Blake (2011)

Verdict: 2 ludwigs

Elaborate look into the rock-band Queen and it members. Filled with facts, interviews and little known details. Personally, I got bogged down by those details.

Why should you read it?

Because it tells, as far as I can see, as complete a picture of Queen the band, and its members, as possible. Care to know where Brian May lived when he was 14? It’ll tell you.

Why should you not read it?

If you don’t care where Brian May lived when he was 14, or who was the sound engineer’s best mate’s second cousin for ‘A Night at the Opera’. It has too few stories to keep all but the most die-hard Queen fans interested.

.

.

.

A History of Ancient Britain – Neil Oliver (2011)

Verdict: 4 ludwigs

BBC-presenter Neil Oliver, you know the long-haired lout with the thick Scottish accent, takes you along for a fascinating and enthralling ride through the (pre)history of Britain.

Why should you read it?

Not only are the facts and cases presented super-interesting, but Oliver’s enthusiasm and passion for the subject shines through every paragraph. A joy to read, it will make you want to visit Britain. Like right now!

Why should you not read it?

If you’re not interested in human history, you might not want to pick it up, but even then I would urge you to give it a try. Sometimes Oliver gets a bit carried away in theories, but he’s easily forgiven.

.

.

.

Before They Are Hanged- Joe Abercrombie (2007)

Verdict: 4 ludwigs

Say one thing for Before They Are Hanged, say it’s a bloody good read. And hell yeah, it’s bloody! A thrilling adventure story that follows the brilliant characters introduced in The Blade Itself, and then turns everything up to eleven.

Why should you read it?

Because it is a mighty fine story that doesn’t pretend to be anything more than it is. It sets out to entertain you, and if you like to be swept away by adventure, it will most certainly do that.

Why should you not read it?

Ermmm… because… Nope, can’t think of a reason. Even non-fantasy readers will probably enjoy this.  It’s a bit like Indiana Jones meets Lord of the Rings… on a cocktail of acid and steroids.

.

.

.

The Ancient Guide to Modern Life – Natalie Haynes (2011)

Verdict: 3 ludwigs

Natalie Haynes takes a closer look at the parallels between the ancient Greek and Roman worlds and our own. Often she draws striking comparisons and tells amusing anecdotes.

Why should you read it?

The Guide is not so much a book, as time spent with a funny historian at the local pub chatting about her passion… but on paper. Haynes is witty, interesting and easily readable in short bursts.

Why should you not read it?

If you’re not interested in stories about original Grumpy Old Man, Juvenal, the taste in women of Socrates or the practical way Athenians organised their democracy. Sometimes she sees the past through rose-coloured glasses too much, and sometimes she meanders dangerously close to preaching.

.

.

.

Thank you for listening

Onder de korenmaat

Let op: wat nu volgt, vind ik belangrijk.

Enige tijd geleden was ik in Gent voor ‘Het Betere Boek’, een nieuw literair festival. Ik hoorde er Maaike Gerritsen praten over haar boek ‘De Geboorte van een Wees’. In het interview sprak zij op een bepaald moment over ‘haar verhaaltje’. Haar woordkeuze viel mij op, omdat ik zelf ook vaak dezelfde term gebruik. Iets stoorde mij eraan. Het klonk voorzichtig, verontschuldigend zelfs.

Als tweede gast was het woord aan Ann de Craemer, schrijver van ‘Vurige Tong’. En nog voor zij de eerste vraag volledig beantwoord had, wist ik dat ik mijn werk nooit meer met een diminutief zou kleineren. Als Ann over haar vertelling spreekt, galmt haar overtuiging in elke zin. Dat haar boek iets te vertellen heeft dat het waard is om gelezen te worden. Zulke krachtige passie werkt aanstekelijk en inspirerend.

Te vaak heb ik mijn liefde voor het schrijven verscholen onder een veilige, vertrouwde laag van verkleinwoorden en verzwakkende bijzinnen.  Ja, in mijn vrije tijd durf ik af en toe wel een verhaaltje op papier te zetten; voor de lol, weet je wel. NOU NIET MEER DUS! Hoe kan een lezer mij serieus nemen, als ik dat zelf nog niet aandurf? Als ik niet verhalen schrijf, maar verhaaltjes? En enkel voor de lol dan nog wel. Lage verwachtingen zijn wel makkelijk, maar je wordt er niet beter door. Ik besef nu dat ik met de term ‘verhaaltje’ de uren die ik achter de computer doorbracht met mijn personages geweld aandoe. Ik heb dan wellicht geen hoog-literaire ambities met mijn verhaal, maar er zit wel een boodschap in die belangrijk voor me is.

Het is eng om je nek uit te steken en te zeggen: hier geloof ik in. Maar laat één ding duidelijk zijn, met onzekerheid is niemand gediend. Dus durf vol overtuiging achter je eigen werk te staan en verban die vervelende ‘-je’ van je verhaal, je schilderij, fotoreportage, of verzameling tinnen miniatuursoldaten. Als jij het waard vindt om je tijd eraan te besteden, dan is het het waard om zonder verontschuldiging over te praten.